There's Always Time for Forgiveness
Saturday, June 16, 2018 8:22 AM
If you happen to follow me or my story or for that matter attended my one woman show There’s Always Time for a Cocktail you may know I have not had a very pleasant relationship with my dad. Well, for a short while at least and in this moment I can say I have a good or even great relationship with him at the nifty age of 47 and he at 75. Boy it took us a while and while most of the years were distant and turbulant those memories have begun to disappear since losing mom in 2011. Since then he and I embarked on some major changes he of course lost his wife who he spent nearly 45 years creating a family and a solid home. Dad finally started looking at his health concerns and had the time to address them but most incredibly in his own way made a new and improved effort to engage with his children and grandchildren. This former US Marshall was not one to either change or be all that emotionally present . Now don’t get me wrong he’s no angel and certainly not the "Leave it to Beaver" Dad I had hoped for but he continues to work on being the best HIM possible. IN his own way and in HIS time. ME? Well I got sober and spiritually connected again and this journey made me look at my contributions to our relationship and in that process realized that guess what? I was wrong sometimes too. I KNOW SHOCKIN! So we forgave one another in an un said sort of way and slowly there began mutual calm and respect. I know now that Dad only ever wanted the best for me and in that process he feared how I would be percieved in the world as this flamboyant fella. It was the 70’s and 80’s for goodness sake and being gay or light in the loafers was a sure fire way to be bullied and singled out not in the most positive of ways. So he did what he knew best to help and I frankly fought it. We are stubborn Ukranians! (Well I’m also Italian…THANKS MOM!)
Fast forward to today. Literally today! I read a passage in a morning meditaion book I frequent and it focused on parents and how they are not perfect and they too are on a life journey. They do well and they do make mistakes just like their children. Acceptance, forgiveness and tolerance for “what is” helps us to heal and move forward. (Not to mention counseling and talking but you get the idea.) We can hold grudges and focus on the negatives for years and this negativity can create sickness in us whether it is in our physical body or soul. We have the power right now to shift our thinking immedately in this moment to forgiveness and gratitude. It can be that easy to focus on how we visualize, verbalize and vocalize things. How we see a realtionship will inevidetably be how it is. How we write about it comes to play and how we vocalize things command the expectation from the universe and others in it to be exactly how they are. This shift in positive and grateful thinking has changed my world for the better.
Dad isn’t well. We aren’t sure exactly where the origin of his cancer is but we know that if nothing else it’s serious. I am so eternally grateful fof the gift of my sobriety because it has lead me to things like acceptance and forgiveness and although it’s brief towards a healthy loving relationship these last few years.
Pictured here is Dad, his oldest Grandson Paul and me in our family home. The big question “What time was this picture taken?"
All my love to you and yours,